Why did this just happen?
Here it tells me that the VowelDetector directory doesn't exist:
lark [1000] ls ../../../VowelDetector
ls: ../../../VowelDetector: No such file or directory
Here I move to that directory, and look inside it (clearly, it does exist):
lark [1001] cd ../../../VowelDetector
lark [1002] ls
Boostexter createFeatureSpecs.pl createFeatureSpecs.pl~ featureList featureList~ Test Train Tree
lark [1003]
WTF, unix, WTF.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
The Engineering Mindset
My friend Chris recently tipped me off to this interesting article about why engineers seem to go into terrorism more often than usual.
The report states that:
"Engineers make up only 3.5 per cent of the Islamic countries they studied, yet they made up 19 per cent of the group of terrorists"
It gives a few reasons why they think engineers are more likely than the average bear to go 'to the dark side' (and no, Darth Vader hero-worship isn't one of them). I think the most fundamental reason is what they describle as the engineering mindset:
Of course some people never realize this. And if you're an adult who's still running a deterministic, linear model of the world in his/her head, you're bound for disaster.
I think there is some good news though. If more people are aware of this phenomenon, and engineers are told about it (especially before they've actually crossed over) their awareness will help prevent them from going down that path. Maybe I'm being overly optimistic, but I do believe that most engineers have a good ability for self-inspection. If someone points out a flaw to me, I can't promise that I'll fix it, but I'll certainly spend some time analyzing it, and deciding if I do indeed think it's a flaw, and if so, what can I do about it.
Can a curriculum change do anything to help this pandemic? I have my doubts, although it might be worth a try. I think if you stick an engineer into a social science type class, where there are no right or wrong answers, the engineer will spend the time arguing his/her viewpoint. I'm just not sure that the concept of the world not being black and white can be taught. I think that the fastest (although fraught with peril!) way to learn that lesson is to fall in love. Perhaps if Muslims were allowed to date more, there would be less of this juvenile stubbornness floating around and driving people to terrorism.
The report states that:
"Engineers make up only 3.5 per cent of the Islamic countries they studied, yet they made up 19 per cent of the group of terrorists"
It gives a few reasons why they think engineers are more likely than the average bear to go 'to the dark side' (and no, Darth Vader hero-worship isn't one of them). I think the most fundamental reason is what they describle as the engineering mindset:
Friedrich von Hayek, in 1952, made a strong case for the peculiarity of the engineering mentality, which in his view is the result of an education which does not train them to understand individuals and their world as the outcome of a social process in which spontaneous behaviours and interactions play a significant part. Rather, it fosters on them a script in which a strict 'rational' control of processes plays the key role: this would make them on the one hand less adept at dealing with the confusing causality of the social and political realms and the compromise and circumspection that these entail, and on the other hand inclined to think that societies should operate orderly akin to well-functioning machines...I definitely think there is some truth to this. I find myself trying to fit things (people, events, etc.) into neat little boxes all the time. Black boxes, of course! ;) If you can categorize people, you have created a model for them, and then you're done thinking about it. You just let the model run in the background. Of course when people don't fit the predictions of your model, you have to go back and tweak the model a bit, add some more parameters or what-not. The longer you live, the more complicated it gets, until you can't keep track of it anymore and you either trash it completely, or you add some large stochastic components to it. I think in some sense, this is what everyone does. It's called the As-you-get-older-you-realize-that-you-don't-know-everything syndrome.
Of course some people never realize this. And if you're an adult who's still running a deterministic, linear model of the world in his/her head, you're bound for disaster.
I think there is some good news though. If more people are aware of this phenomenon, and engineers are told about it (especially before they've actually crossed over) their awareness will help prevent them from going down that path. Maybe I'm being overly optimistic, but I do believe that most engineers have a good ability for self-inspection. If someone points out a flaw to me, I can't promise that I'll fix it, but I'll certainly spend some time analyzing it, and deciding if I do indeed think it's a flaw, and if so, what can I do about it.
Can a curriculum change do anything to help this pandemic? I have my doubts, although it might be worth a try. I think if you stick an engineer into a social science type class, where there are no right or wrong answers, the engineer will spend the time arguing his/her viewpoint. I'm just not sure that the concept of the world not being black and white can be taught. I think that the fastest (although fraught with peril!) way to learn that lesson is to fall in love. Perhaps if Muslims were allowed to date more, there would be less of this juvenile stubbornness floating around and driving people to terrorism.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Unix and I are taking a break
Oh, how I wish that were true!! Sigh. Unfortunately unix and I must continue to slog through it together, day after day.
I came down with the flu last weekend, and spent a couple days watching a bizillion episodes of House. I think unix is the OS equivalent of House. House is a complete and utter A-hole, but he's so useful that everyone at the hospital has to put up with him.
Somewhere deep down, I am aware that unix is not a human being out to get me. But it's hard to remember that. Kind of like how most people, deep down, are aware that their dogs can't understand them when they talk.
Anyway here is what unix did to me today!! (sniff sniff... hurt feelings!) I wanted to take a file, just grab the first N lines, and then save that back to the same file name.
Well, guess what happens (or try it and find out) when you do this:
>> head filename > filename
Damn you, unix.
I came down with the flu last weekend, and spent a couple days watching a bizillion episodes of House. I think unix is the OS equivalent of House. House is a complete and utter A-hole, but he's so useful that everyone at the hospital has to put up with him.
Somewhere deep down, I am aware that unix is not a human being out to get me. But it's hard to remember that. Kind of like how most people, deep down, are aware that their dogs can't understand them when they talk.
Anyway here is what unix did to me today!! (sniff sniff... hurt feelings!) I wanted to take a file, just grab the first N lines, and then save that back to the same file name.
Well, guess what happens (or try it and find out) when you do this:
>> head filename > filename
Damn you, unix.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
WTF?
Usually I get bored watching music videos, but this one had me mesmerized with its strangeness. It's like.... watching something you're not supposed to watch? Odd and entertaining.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Unix and I Hugged it Out
Yes, unix and I actually had a pleasant time yesterday. But is this the first step on the road to a happy relationship? Or is it just a case of an abusive spouse who senses that his/her partner has had enough and begs forgiveness, promising to change? Only time will tell.
Here's my happy unix experience. Yesterday, I learned about the 'cut' function. It sounded quite useful. (This is usually the case with unix commands. That is how they get you. I have spent multiple days dueling with "useful" commands such as sox.) Anyway, I needed to take a space delimited file and convert it to a comma-delimited file. I would normally do this in perl (ugh, opening file handles is so hard!) but after hearing about cut, I thought "maybe there is an easy way to do this with cut and paste, or even one of the other infinite number of unix functions that I have never heard of."
I asked my roommate, who spends his days swimming in a sea of unix-ability, how he would do such a thing. He suggested 'sed'. Uh-oh. I smell trouble. Sed is a scary-looking command that I only see in conjunction with another scary-looking command, 'awk'. I am very skeptical. But Evan dutifully explains it to me, and I try it out. Voila!! As long as my last line ends in a newline, and there are no extra spaces at the end of each line, it works perfectly. Check it out:
lark [998] cat numbers
0 1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15
lark [999] cat numbers | sed "s/ /,/g"
0,1,2,3,4,5
6,7,8,9,10
11,12,13,14,15
Here's my happy unix experience. Yesterday, I learned about the 'cut' function. It sounded quite useful. (This is usually the case with unix commands. That is how they get you. I have spent multiple days dueling with "useful" commands such as sox.) Anyway, I needed to take a space delimited file and convert it to a comma-delimited file. I would normally do this in perl (ugh, opening file handles is so hard!) but after hearing about cut, I thought "maybe there is an easy way to do this with cut and paste, or even one of the other infinite number of unix functions that I have never heard of."
I asked my roommate, who spends his days swimming in a sea of unix-ability, how he would do such a thing. He suggested 'sed'. Uh-oh. I smell trouble. Sed is a scary-looking command that I only see in conjunction with another scary-looking command, 'awk'. I am very skeptical. But Evan dutifully explains it to me, and I try it out. Voila!! As long as my last line ends in a newline, and there are no extra spaces at the end of each line, it works perfectly. Check it out:
lark [998] cat numbers
0 1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15
lark [999] cat numbers | sed "s/ /,/g"
0,1,2,3,4,5
6,7,8,9,10
11,12,13,14,15
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Gimme Your Stuff
I just found a very cool website!!! This idea is so cool that I'm even willing to go to the post office for it. (Actually, I'd probably go to the UPS store. They love me, even though I forget my wallet when I go there.)
The site is called Gimme Your Stuff , and they facilitate exchanges between people in different countries. What a fun idea!!!!
What I can send
- mix CDs (I love making these!!)
- magazines
- postcards, stationary
- fun stuff from Pike's Place Market like candies, snacks, jewelry, accessories, other Seattle souvenirs like coffee maybe?
- anything else you want I can try to get for you
What i want
Anything that represents where you're from! If you pick something out, I'm sure I'll like it!
The site is called Gimme Your Stuff , and they facilitate exchanges between people in different countries. What a fun idea!!!!
What I can send
- mix CDs (I love making these!!)
- magazines
- postcards, stationary
- fun stuff from Pike's Place Market like candies, snacks, jewelry, accessories, other Seattle souvenirs like coffee maybe?
- anything else you want I can try to get for you
What i want
Anything that represents where you're from! If you pick something out, I'm sure I'll like it!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Google Continues to Dominate
Yesterday Google held a grand opening for their new Seattle office. It's in Fremont, which seems appropriate given that Fremont is the Center of the Universe.
I didn't go down to their site, since I have no desire to work at Google. If you've read much of this blog, you know that I'm pretty far from being an elite (see I have no idea if it's L33T or 3l33t or what-not) hax0r. I did however go to their Q and A session in my building so I could scope out the free food situation.
Once again, as they have done so many times, Google impressed me. I use so many of their products. Search, blogger, AdSense, Google Earth/maps. I text them for stock quotes and directory info, I have 5 tabs on my iGoogle homepage. The new Android open-source phone thing is poised to change the world as we know it! (Well, hopefully. I fear that allowing people to write apps for phones will move the mobile domain towards the chunky-vomit-on-the-screen that is Facebook.) If Google suddenly disappeared, my life would spiral downward into a pit of self-pity, despair, and homelessness. I would become a leper and possibly die.
I have no doubt in my mind that Google will continue to kick ass, mainly because of their incredibly stringent hiring process. I know at least 3 extremely smart people who have been rejected after going through the entire lengthly interview process. (I think all of those people should have been hired actually, but it does speak to how rigorous they are on this front.)
Anyway, here is the latest and greatest Google product that I have been a consumer of:
I didn't go down to their site, since I have no desire to work at Google. If you've read much of this blog, you know that I'm pretty far from being an elite (see I have no idea if it's L33T or 3l33t or what-not) hax0r. I did however go to their Q and A session in my building so I could scope out the free food situation.
Once again, as they have done so many times, Google impressed me. I use so many of their products. Search, blogger, AdSense, Google Earth/maps. I text them for stock quotes and directory info, I have 5 tabs on my iGoogle homepage. The new Android open-source phone thing is poised to change the world as we know it! (Well, hopefully. I fear that allowing people to write apps for phones will move the mobile domain towards the chunky-vomit-on-the-screen that is Facebook.) If Google suddenly disappeared, my life would spiral downward into a pit of self-pity, despair, and homelessness. I would become a leper and possibly die.
I have no doubt in my mind that Google will continue to kick ass, mainly because of their incredibly stringent hiring process. I know at least 3 extremely smart people who have been rejected after going through the entire lengthly interview process. (I think all of those people should have been hired actually, but it does speak to how rigorous they are on this front.)
Anyway, here is the latest and greatest Google product that I have been a consumer of:
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Amy vs. Unix
Yesterday I got the following error:
bash-3.00$ ls *
ls: invalid option -- 9
It turns out that you're not supposed to start a file name with a dash. I didn't actually name files that way on purpose... I was trying to make files with names like x-y.stuff. But I always forget to chomp things in perl so I ended up with just the -y. I then was going to try to delete my mistakes but found that I couldn't even do an ls. (I am pretty paranoid about doing rms, and try to always do an ls first to verify what I am about to remove).
Sigh. I know, I know. Option flags start with a dash so it makes perfect sense. I just don't know why I get up in the morning.
bash-3.00$ ls *
ls: invalid option -- 9
It turns out that you're not supposed to start a file name with a dash. I didn't actually name files that way on purpose... I was trying to make files with names like x-y.stuff. But I always forget to chomp things in perl so I ended up with just the -y. I then was going to try to delete my mistakes but found that I couldn't even do an ls. (I am pretty paranoid about doing rms, and try to always do an ls first to verify what I am about to remove).
Sigh. I know, I know. Option flags start with a dash so it makes perfect sense. I just don't know why I get up in the morning.
Bad Business Models
Two industries where I think we'd be better off if government took over:
In our capitalistic society, we are all taking part in an intricate dance between consumer and comsumee (er, producer). The sellers try to sell their stuff for as much money as possible, and the consumers try to buy it for as little as possible. Sometimes people get ripped off, but in general most transactions result in a win-win situation. People buy the things that are most important to them and everyone is happy.
However, the way I see it, there are (at least?) two industries out there whose business model fundamentally relies on hurting people. First, the illegal drug industry. I can see two major reasons why we would be better off having the government selling (not to mention taxing and creating revenue from) these drugs. Reason number one, I'm sure many people have pointed out that the vast majority of drug related crime would vanish if drugs were made legal. I don't exactly have 'street cred' but I think that sometimes kids who grow up in an inner city see drug dealing as a quick/easy way to make money. If drugs become legal, then selling drugs would just mean getting a job at your local Walgreens. If Walgreens isn't glamorous enough, there is always school.
Reason number two, as a drug seller, it is in your best interest to go out and recruit new drug users, i.e. create more addicts. I'm fine with people making their own decisions about whether or not to use drugs, however it seems unnecessary to lure people in with discounts or free samples. For this reason, I think that over the long term the number of drug addicts might actually go down.
The second harmful business model is..... (suspense)..... health care! As we all learned from Michael Moore, health insurance companies make money by denying as many of your claims as possible. Hmmm oh wait, all insurance companies work like this. Unfortunately, there is a difference between losing your car, your home, and your health. One of those three can cause you to DIE.
The best argument I have heard for keeping health care private is that it encourages innovation. I'll buy that. But here's my idea to try and get around that problem. The government could provide a baseline health care plan for everyone. This plan would cover things like generic drugs, and 'standard' procedures. People could buy optional insurance if they want brand-name drugs and new/experimental treatments. This ensures that money is still flowing into innovation, and new treatments will eventually be available to everyone (which I think is effectively how it is now anyway?)
One thing I really like about having government health care is that it unties it from your job. I have a suspicion that us middle-class workers may be inadvertently holding our own wages down because we are not making the labor supply liquid enough. We get a job with good health coverage and we're afraid to leave. I think many people would be willing to have a gap in work while trying to find a better job if it weren't for the fear of being uninsured.
While I'm unveiling my grand plans here, I'd like to add that my new insurance plan should cover some over-the-counter medications, like lice shampoo and Monistat. I read an article awhile back in Nation magazine about how sometimes poor people call their doctors and get prescriptions for lice shampoos or Diflucan, which are much more expensive than their over-the-counter equivalents. The reason for this being that they can't afford the $20 for the OTC medicine and it will be cheaper (or free?) with their medicaid. I'm guessing it would be cheaper for taxpayers to cover these OTC drugs than the prescription versions.
There. Now I have solved the world's problems. :)
In our capitalistic society, we are all taking part in an intricate dance between consumer and comsumee (er, producer). The sellers try to sell their stuff for as much money as possible, and the consumers try to buy it for as little as possible. Sometimes people get ripped off, but in general most transactions result in a win-win situation. People buy the things that are most important to them and everyone is happy.
However, the way I see it, there are (at least?) two industries out there whose business model fundamentally relies on hurting people. First, the illegal drug industry. I can see two major reasons why we would be better off having the government selling (not to mention taxing and creating revenue from) these drugs. Reason number one, I'm sure many people have pointed out that the vast majority of drug related crime would vanish if drugs were made legal. I don't exactly have 'street cred' but I think that sometimes kids who grow up in an inner city see drug dealing as a quick/easy way to make money. If drugs become legal, then selling drugs would just mean getting a job at your local Walgreens. If Walgreens isn't glamorous enough, there is always school.
Reason number two, as a drug seller, it is in your best interest to go out and recruit new drug users, i.e. create more addicts. I'm fine with people making their own decisions about whether or not to use drugs, however it seems unnecessary to lure people in with discounts or free samples. For this reason, I think that over the long term the number of drug addicts might actually go down.
The second harmful business model is..... (suspense)..... health care! As we all learned from Michael Moore, health insurance companies make money by denying as many of your claims as possible. Hmmm oh wait, all insurance companies work like this. Unfortunately, there is a difference between losing your car, your home, and your health. One of those three can cause you to DIE.
The best argument I have heard for keeping health care private is that it encourages innovation. I'll buy that. But here's my idea to try and get around that problem. The government could provide a baseline health care plan for everyone. This plan would cover things like generic drugs, and 'standard' procedures. People could buy optional insurance if they want brand-name drugs and new/experimental treatments. This ensures that money is still flowing into innovation, and new treatments will eventually be available to everyone (which I think is effectively how it is now anyway?)
One thing I really like about having government health care is that it unties it from your job. I have a suspicion that us middle-class workers may be inadvertently holding our own wages down because we are not making the labor supply liquid enough. We get a job with good health coverage and we're afraid to leave. I think many people would be willing to have a gap in work while trying to find a better job if it weren't for the fear of being uninsured.
While I'm unveiling my grand plans here, I'd like to add that my new insurance plan should cover some over-the-counter medications, like lice shampoo and Monistat. I read an article awhile back in Nation magazine about how sometimes poor people call their doctors and get prescriptions for lice shampoos or Diflucan, which are much more expensive than their over-the-counter equivalents. The reason for this being that they can't afford the $20 for the OTC medicine and it will be cheaper (or free?) with their medicaid. I'm guessing it would be cheaper for taxpayers to cover these OTC drugs than the prescription versions.
There. Now I have solved the world's problems. :)
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Bus Puncher!!
Yesterday, one of my lab mates had a funny bus experience. He was riding the bus on campus and a disgruntled gentleman who had missed the bus expressed his dissatisfaction with the situation by standing in the road and blocking the bus. The bus driver waved and honked but the guy wouldn't move. Finally after lots of yelling the guy moved aside - he was still in the middle of the road but far enough over that the bus could go past him. As the bus went past, the man punched the bus window so hard that it broke!
If you are a delinquent and you're thinking that punching a bus sounds fun, be warned that the cops were called and the guy was caught. (So, I guess if you are going to do that, at least run afterwards). The funniest part of the story though was that this was the second time my lab mate has been on a bus where a disgruntled bus-rider punched and broke a window.
All of this got me thinking about the bus. As I may have mentioned before, I love the bus. As a fairly avid yet relatively new bus rider, I sometimes find myself in a situation where I am not sure what the proper bus etiquette is. (Bus punching seems fairly black and white, but there are some greyer areas.) I pose the following questions:
1. If you're the only person standing at a stop, and a bus comes by that isn't yours, should you do something to indicate that you don't need it to stop?
2. Is it rude to sit in the outer seat if you're going to get off in the next 1 or 2 stops?
3. Do people actually queue at bus stops? Sometimes it seems as though a vague line is forming but I can't quite tell. This was a bigger issues when I used to live near U Village. The bus stop there would be packed in the mornings... sometimes to the point where people would get left behind. I hope I haven't been constantly going around cutting people off.
Also, if you're wondering what I might look like while riding the bus, I found a hilarious description of myself on another blog. (Ok, it's not actually about me, this blog author is in Portland. But it sure sounds like me!) Read the first post - I'm The lady in her own little world . Hee hee, I love it.
UPDATE: To expand on that 'lady in her own little world' thing, today I think I set a new record for the amount of crap that I'm trying to carry on the bus. I got on carrying 50 double cheeseburgers, 50 4-piece nuggets, and 50 apple pies (not to mention sauce and napkins) from McDonalds. The best part was that I had the Borat bus driver (he's a fairly grumpy guy who looks like Borat's assistant) and he actually talked to me! He asked me if there were any fries in the box. I said, "nope, just apple pies." He wanted to know how I kept the food warm. I told him that I didn't. Yes, I brought lukewarm food to the EE graduate student social today. Didn't seem to befront most people... the food was still gone in 20 minutes.
If you are a delinquent and you're thinking that punching a bus sounds fun, be warned that the cops were called and the guy was caught. (So, I guess if you are going to do that, at least run afterwards). The funniest part of the story though was that this was the second time my lab mate has been on a bus where a disgruntled bus-rider punched and broke a window.
All of this got me thinking about the bus. As I may have mentioned before, I love the bus. As a fairly avid yet relatively new bus rider, I sometimes find myself in a situation where I am not sure what the proper bus etiquette is. (Bus punching seems fairly black and white, but there are some greyer areas.) I pose the following questions:
1. If you're the only person standing at a stop, and a bus comes by that isn't yours, should you do something to indicate that you don't need it to stop?
2. Is it rude to sit in the outer seat if you're going to get off in the next 1 or 2 stops?
3. Do people actually queue at bus stops? Sometimes it seems as though a vague line is forming but I can't quite tell. This was a bigger issues when I used to live near U Village. The bus stop there would be packed in the mornings... sometimes to the point where people would get left behind. I hope I haven't been constantly going around cutting people off.
Also, if you're wondering what I might look like while riding the bus, I found a hilarious description of myself on another blog. (Ok, it's not actually about me, this blog author is in Portland. But it sure sounds like me!) Read the first post - I'm The lady in her own little world . Hee hee, I love it.
UPDATE: To expand on that 'lady in her own little world' thing, today I think I set a new record for the amount of crap that I'm trying to carry on the bus. I got on carrying 50 double cheeseburgers, 50 4-piece nuggets, and 50 apple pies (not to mention sauce and napkins) from McDonalds. The best part was that I had the Borat bus driver (he's a fairly grumpy guy who looks like Borat's assistant) and he actually talked to me! He asked me if there were any fries in the box. I said, "nope, just apple pies." He wanted to know how I kept the food warm. I told him that I didn't. Yes, I brought lukewarm food to the EE graduate student social today. Didn't seem to befront most people... the food was still gone in 20 minutes.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
My Favorite Car Commercial
I am not really a 'car' person per se. I know that some cars are red, some are blue, etc. I can recognize my own car, although have tried my keys on the wrong car more than once. That's only because my gold Camry is so common! I have literally parked between two other gold Camrys before.
That being said, I saw this commercial once a long time ago and I liked it so much that I never forgot it. For whatever reason today something reminded me of it. Thank God for youtube... as they say, a commercial is worth a thousand words!
That being said, I saw this commercial once a long time ago and I liked it so much that I never forgot it. For whatever reason today something reminded me of it. Thank God for youtube... as they say, a commercial is worth a thousand words!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Amy-colada
Lately I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do when I finish grad school. I think I'm having a quarter-life crisis. All I really want to do is go travel... and I don't mean taking a 2-week trip. (Especially a 2 week trip where I try to cram in 5 cities, 7 churches, 2 bus tours, 3 nightclubs and a river cruise.) I mean I just want to go. I'd love nothing more than to fly down to Costa Rica with just a backpack (and possibly a surfboard) and see where the wind takes me. Who knows what could happen? Here's one likely scenario:
I go to Panama and get a job bar-tending. I live in a beach house with a bunch of other travelers, and we sit around swapping stories and discussing potential next-legs of our grand journeys. I briefly take up smoking a pipe. It smells nice, plus it's a relaxing way to pass the time while I sit in my hammock and look at the stars. I soon quit piping however, because I need my max Vo2 to be high for surfing.
At my bar-tending job I meet lots of sailors who are passing through the Panama Canal. They always have great stories about sharks, mermaids, the Bermuda Triangle, etc. One day I get offered a job bar-tending aboard The World. I have a blast on The World, befriending lots of wealthy senior citizens. They are fun and have some great stories! A woman named Janie who I start hanging out with a lot used to be a socialite in New York in the 70's. She tells me about partying at Studio 54 and sleeping with some very prominent politicians and businessmen. I am fascinated with her stories and we start making plans for me to ghost-write a book for her.
But when we reach the waters of southeast Asia, things take a different turn. The World gets boarded by pirates. Some of the pirates hold the crew hostage while the others ransack people's rooms. Lots of pillaging but not so much raping. Probably because the average age of The World residents is 67. I am behind the bar, of course, and I decide to make the pirates my specialty drink, the Amy-colada. They love it, and consequently kidnap me and bring me aboard their pirate ship.
As cool as you might think pirate ships are, this one was actually pretty gross. The pirates don't really shower, and the food situation is awful. Everything is fermented. (Later I learn that Korean food is actually supposed to be like that). Definitely a step down from The World. Luckily I had a lot of cash from my massive bartender tips so I join in with the pirate's poker games. I don't do very well at first, until I start picking up some Korean. One of the pirates, named Tim-Tam, used to live in Australia so he serves as my translator initially. He helps me learn Korean (except during poker games).
When we return to the pirates' home base of North Korea, they must deliver all of their pirate booty immediately to Kim Jong Il. Mr. Il is bemused to see a scraggly looking white girl in the mix with the gold bars, watches, exotic birds and plants, Chinese pottery, and other odds and ends that make up a pirate's booty collections. He decides that I should be the English teacher for his many children. (Apparently Mr. Il is North Korea's answer to Wilt Chamberlain. Who knew?)
His children are fairly bratty, as you might imagine. The moms aren't really sure what to make of me either. Most try to be nice, at least to my face, but they are always whispering about me. Gradually I start adjusting to my new role as the Anna Leonowens of Korea. My Korean gets better, and I learn to like kimchi. Also, it's really fascinating being able to see the inner workings of a cruel, despotic regime.
Still, I miss life on the outside. I fear that I'll never see the outside world again until Mr. Il is dead. But suddenly one dead, I am released back into the wild. Tim-Tam is waiting for me on the outside. He explains that he told Amnesty International about my capture, and they started a letter writing campaign to get me released.
Tim-Tam and I get into the back of his friend's tuk-tuk.
"Where do you want to go?" Tim-Tam asked me.
"Well, I've never been to China," I tell him.
"To China!" he yells at the driver, and we're off.
I go to Panama and get a job bar-tending. I live in a beach house with a bunch of other travelers, and we sit around swapping stories and discussing potential next-legs of our grand journeys. I briefly take up smoking a pipe. It smells nice, plus it's a relaxing way to pass the time while I sit in my hammock and look at the stars. I soon quit piping however, because I need my max Vo2 to be high for surfing.
At my bar-tending job I meet lots of sailors who are passing through the Panama Canal. They always have great stories about sharks, mermaids, the Bermuda Triangle, etc. One day I get offered a job bar-tending aboard The World. I have a blast on The World, befriending lots of wealthy senior citizens. They are fun and have some great stories! A woman named Janie who I start hanging out with a lot used to be a socialite in New York in the 70's. She tells me about partying at Studio 54 and sleeping with some very prominent politicians and businessmen. I am fascinated with her stories and we start making plans for me to ghost-write a book for her.
But when we reach the waters of southeast Asia, things take a different turn. The World gets boarded by pirates. Some of the pirates hold the crew hostage while the others ransack people's rooms. Lots of pillaging but not so much raping. Probably because the average age of The World residents is 67. I am behind the bar, of course, and I decide to make the pirates my specialty drink, the Amy-colada. They love it, and consequently kidnap me and bring me aboard their pirate ship.
As cool as you might think pirate ships are, this one was actually pretty gross. The pirates don't really shower, and the food situation is awful. Everything is fermented. (Later I learn that Korean food is actually supposed to be like that). Definitely a step down from The World. Luckily I had a lot of cash from my massive bartender tips so I join in with the pirate's poker games. I don't do very well at first, until I start picking up some Korean. One of the pirates, named Tim-Tam, used to live in Australia so he serves as my translator initially. He helps me learn Korean (except during poker games).
When we return to the pirates' home base of North Korea, they must deliver all of their pirate booty immediately to Kim Jong Il. Mr. Il is bemused to see a scraggly looking white girl in the mix with the gold bars, watches, exotic birds and plants, Chinese pottery, and other odds and ends that make up a pirate's booty collections. He decides that I should be the English teacher for his many children. (Apparently Mr. Il is North Korea's answer to Wilt Chamberlain. Who knew?)
His children are fairly bratty, as you might imagine. The moms aren't really sure what to make of me either. Most try to be nice, at least to my face, but they are always whispering about me. Gradually I start adjusting to my new role as the Anna Leonowens of Korea. My Korean gets better, and I learn to like kimchi. Also, it's really fascinating being able to see the inner workings of a cruel, despotic regime.
Still, I miss life on the outside. I fear that I'll never see the outside world again until Mr. Il is dead. But suddenly one dead, I am released back into the wild. Tim-Tam is waiting for me on the outside. He explains that he told Amnesty International about my capture, and they started a letter writing campaign to get me released.
Tim-Tam and I get into the back of his friend's tuk-tuk.
"Where do you want to go?" Tim-Tam asked me.
"Well, I've never been to China," I tell him.
"To China!" he yells at the driver, and we're off.
Friday, January 4, 2008
A Giant Leap Forward
I had a pretty great experience at UPS before Christmas, and I wanted to share it here, because it shows me the wonderful direction that technology is taking us.
I walked up the street to UPS, carrying a box of presents for my dad and his family. I got to the store, started asking the cashier about how much it would cost to get the box there by Christmas, and then realized that I had forgotten my wallet.
You might think that I was embarrassed by that.... luckily I do stuff like that pretty often, so I was taking it all in stride. I told the man that I'd run home and get my wallet. He suggested that I leave the box and that I could actually just call in with the credit card information when I get home. This was great news, because I have my credit card number (and expiration date, and even the little extra number on the back) memorized! I told him that, and he gave me a fairly strange look before saying, "Well I'd need to see some ID." I wasn't going to argue with this, cause hey I am the one who left my entire wallet at home. So I said, "Ok that's no problem. I'll call in with it."
Then, he said, "You know what? If you call in, I won't see your ID anyway. So you can just give me the number now." Happy days! I told him the number and he was mildly surprised that it actually works. Do other people really not memorize these numbers? It's so handy for ordering things online and what-not.
Finally!! (Evil laugh). The balance of power in this crazy world is tipping away from all you so-called *organized* people, and tipping towards us people who might forget our heads if they weren't screwed on, but can memorize lots of stuff. HA! Seriously, I think this is fantastic. Think about it! You could leave the credit card at home and never worry about pick-pocketing again!
I walked up the street to UPS, carrying a box of presents for my dad and his family. I got to the store, started asking the cashier about how much it would cost to get the box there by Christmas, and then realized that I had forgotten my wallet.
You might think that I was embarrassed by that.... luckily I do stuff like that pretty often, so I was taking it all in stride. I told the man that I'd run home and get my wallet. He suggested that I leave the box and that I could actually just call in with the credit card information when I get home. This was great news, because I have my credit card number (and expiration date, and even the little extra number on the back) memorized! I told him that, and he gave me a fairly strange look before saying, "Well I'd need to see some ID." I wasn't going to argue with this, cause hey I am the one who left my entire wallet at home. So I said, "Ok that's no problem. I'll call in with it."
Then, he said, "You know what? If you call in, I won't see your ID anyway. So you can just give me the number now." Happy days! I told him the number and he was mildly surprised that it actually works. Do other people really not memorize these numbers? It's so handy for ordering things online and what-not.
Finally!! (Evil laugh). The balance of power in this crazy world is tipping away from all you so-called *organized* people, and tipping towards us people who might forget our heads if they weren't screwed on, but can memorize lots of stuff. HA! Seriously, I think this is fantastic. Think about it! You could leave the credit card at home and never worry about pick-pocketing again!
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Hey Hey it's 08
I had some pretty fun holidays. I went to my sister's place in Belleville, IL, and saw the world's largest bottle of catsup!
I also hung out on Scott AFB, and got pumped up in their gym!
On Christmas day I met Baby Bub (not her real name). Her mom (Bub) and I used to ride our bikes to Smitty's when we were in 8th grade. We liked to buy stuff that cost a dollar... mostly stickers. Then in high school Bub started dating this guy and I was perpetually disgusted because they were making out. Yes, I was often the third wheel on their dates. My high school years were basically like this. OK not quite as racy but the concept is similar. :) Anyway, now those two are married and have produced an offspring!! What is next!?!
One more cool thing I did over the break - A Seaplane Ride!! The only reason I did this is because my mom gave me an Entertainment book and they had a sweet 2-for-1 coupon in there! But even without the coupon it's only $67.50 per person for the 20 minute scenic tour, and I thought it was incredible!! Especially if you've never ridden in a small plane, I think it'd totally be worth the money. You can see all the major Seattle landmarks, including Bill Gates' house! Here's my picture of the beautiful floating bridge.
I also hung out on Scott AFB, and got pumped up in their gym!
On Christmas day I met Baby Bub (not her real name). Her mom (Bub) and I used to ride our bikes to Smitty's when we were in 8th grade. We liked to buy stuff that cost a dollar... mostly stickers. Then in high school Bub started dating this guy and I was perpetually disgusted because they were making out. Yes, I was often the third wheel on their dates. My high school years were basically like this. OK not quite as racy but the concept is similar. :) Anyway, now those two are married and have produced an offspring!! What is next!?!
One more cool thing I did over the break - A Seaplane Ride!! The only reason I did this is because my mom gave me an Entertainment book and they had a sweet 2-for-1 coupon in there! But even without the coupon it's only $67.50 per person for the 20 minute scenic tour, and I thought it was incredible!! Especially if you've never ridden in a small plane, I think it'd totally be worth the money. You can see all the major Seattle landmarks, including Bill Gates' house! Here's my picture of the beautiful floating bridge.
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